ESAN PEOPLE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE CEREMONY
ESAN PEOPLE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE CEREMONY.
Two major types of marriage exist in Esan Land:
Monogamy, A marriage of one man to one woman, and Polygamy, A marriage of one man to two or more wives. Traditional marriage is usually an arrangement between two families as opposed to an arrangement between two individuals. Accordingly, there is pressure on the bride and bridegroom to make the marriage work as any problem will usually affect both families and strain the otherwise cordial relationship between them. The man usually pays the dowry or bride-price and is thus considered the head of the family. Adultery is acceptable for men, but forbidden for women. Marriage ceremonies vary among Esan Clans.
Before Now, girls were generally regarded as ready for marriage between the ages of 15 through 18. Courtship can begin among the individuals during the trip to the river to fetch water or during the moonlight play.
Sometimes parents actually go looking for a wife or husband for their children. This led to the BETROTHAL SYSTEM where marriage were conducted with or without the consent of the individuals involved. Sometimes such betrothal, took place when a baby girl was born. Suitors would begin to approach the parents by sending a log of wood or bundle of yam to the parents of the child. You are likely to hear statements such as -” Imu’ Ikerhan Vboto”-I have dropped a log of firewood. When a boy decides to get married and the parents have accepted the bride as a prospective daughter-in-law, messages go up and down between the two families.
Series of investigations are conducted by both families – about disease, scandals and crimes which may affect the families.
The term of the marriage which of course may include the DOWRY would be settled in some families. Gifts for mother of the bride and members of the extended family would be part of the settlement. Then a date would be set for the ceremony which would take place in the home of the woman’s family. This was called IWANIEN OMO in the old days the go-between for the two families must be somebody well known by both families. There would of course be a lot of merriment on the day of marriage when the bride and the bridegroom are presented openly to the two families.
Kola nuts and wine are presented. The head of the woman’s family would normally preside over the ceremony. Prayers are said and kola nuts broken at the family shrine. Rituals vary from family to family. The woman always sits on her father’s lap before she is given away. Amidst prayers, laughter and sometimes tears, the woman would be carefully hoisted on the lap of the head of the bride’s family.
Many years ago, the woman would be sent to the bridegroom house about thirteen days after IWANIEN OMO and gingerly hoisted either on her husband’s lap or the head of his family. They are done immediately nowadays in the home of the bridegroom. The bride, now known as OVBIAHA would be led by her relatives to the husband’s house with all her property, meanwhile the family and friends of the bridegroom are feasting, drinking, singing and dancing while waiting for the bride to arrive.
As the family and friends of the bridegroom awaits the OVBIAHA, messages will arrive suggesting that there are barriers on the road. The bridegroom has to remove the barriers by sending money to the party, bringing the wife to him or else the wife will not arrive. As they approach the house of the bridegroom, you can hear the echo of “Bride! Be proud/ the Bride is proud.” Arrival at the bridegroom’s house is immediately followed by the ceremony of IKPOBO-OVBIAHA-washing of the bride’s hands. A bowl of water with money in it would be brought out. A woman in the groom’s family, sometimes senior wife would bring out a new head tie, wash the hand of the Ovbiaha in the bowl and dries her hand with the head tie.
Both the new headtie and the money in the bowl belong to the bride. A few days later, the bride would be taken to the family altar and prayers are said for her. She undergoes what is called the IGBIKHIAVBO ceremony-beating of OKRO on the flat mortar. This would be followed by a visit by the bride’s mother-in-law and other female members of the family to the newlywed, if they are not living in the same house. She would demand the bed spread on which they both slept when they had their “first sexual relationship” after the wedding and if the bed-spread was stained with blood, the bride was regarded as a virgin and as such she would be given many presents including money. If it is proven that she was not a virgin, then the preparation for the ceremony of IVIHEN-OATH TAKING ceremony would be set in motion. First, she has to confess to the older women, the “other men” in her life before she got married. The husband would never be told any of her confessions, then, she would be summoned to the family shrine early in the morning , without warning to take an oath of FIDELITY, FAITHFULNESS, TRUSTWORTHINESS, HONESTY ETC, to her husband and family. This ceremony is the equivalent of the oath people take in the church, mosque or marriage registry.
Once the oath taking ceremony is over, she would be fully accepted back into the family and immediately becomes married not only to her husband but to the family and sometimes to the community.
Christianity, Islam and Westernization of today have weakened the ESAN traditional system of marriage. The traditional ceremony is sometimes done the same day with many of the rituals avoided in the name of Christianity or Islam and many women would rather die than take the oath we described above. It was the oath that kept ESAN women out of prostitution for many years; thus making the ESAN women in general to be regarded as very faithful, trustworthy, honest with strong fidelity to their husbands making neighboring tribes want them as wives. It also made divorce on the ground of adultery, less common in those days.