A Victorian Lady’s guide for ‘Marital Relations’ and hygiene
What happened behind closed Victorian bedroom doors, was a taboo subject for most Victorian ladies.
The prevailing attitude was that sEx was necessary for reproduction, but not something to be discussed in polite society – let alone enjoyed!
Most brides arrived at their wedding night, having not even the faintest idea about what was expected, and many were simply terrified.
Any guidance that existed on the subject of sEx, ranged from the peculiar to the obscure.
It was claimed that having energetic intercourse, more than once a month, risked damaging the internal organs ~ while a passionate session between the sheets after a meal, could easily trigger a stroke!
Certain types of books started popping up.
They had titles such as ‘The Godly Marriage’ or ‘Advice For The Maiden Wife And Mother’
These books contained information about sEx and the body, but were framed in both a Christian and ‘healthy’ manner.
The books were marketed as “marital hygiene” manuals, skirting around the actual issue of sEx itself.
Victorian women were expected to produce large families, so becoming pregnant frequently was considered a wifely duty.
It was, however, largely assumed that women derived little pleasure from the act of procreation, itself.
Any “over excitement” was strongly discouraged, and there were dire warnings for anyone being swept away by ecstasy.
One so-called Victorian health expert insisted –
“A woman of a delicate mind and constitution,
may be fatally injured in this manner.
Overzealous sEx can cause a build-up of nervous
force, that would surely do harm over time.
This includes causing insanity and blindness, while
any form of sExual experimentation or boldness,
among women is frowned upon”
The missionary position, is considered best for
conceiving, sEx while standing up, or with knees
drawn is ill-advised, and can cause certain ailments
to the uterus.
No female can desire such intercourse as this,
because she cannot enjoy it.
The woman must keep her legs perfectly flat at all
times, during sEx.
Any unnatural performance of this act, is apt to
impair the health of the female.”
The excitement of sEx, when combined with the
stimulative influence of wine and food, can cause a
stroke, and a decent interval should be allowed after
meal times, before retreating to the boudoir”
Once a month is considered ideal for married
couples to have sEx, this allows time for the body’s
organs to recover fully, from the exertion.
SEx outside marriage for a young lady is repugnant,
and impure thoughts, kissing, fondling and caressing
between lovers, should never be tolerated”
The manuals also covered bathing, personal hygiene and beauty.
When it came to washing, women were told that a freezing cold sponge bath, while standing up was the best method.
It was feared that wetting the body all over could lead to infection.
Another worry was that lying down in a warm bath, was a sure way of conjuring up impure thoughts…..
In the Victorian era, it is a surprise to discover, that women favoured crotchless knickers.
Queen Victoria made the intimate items, very popular.
Yet there was no racy motive for this.
The fashion merely allowed women who were shrouded in layers of voluminous clothing – designed to cover every inch of flesh – to crouch over a chamber pot, without having to undress.
In all fairness, it is difficult to find a single female-written scrap of paper about sExuality, or women’s internal health, from the Victorian era.
These ‘manuals’ were mainly written by men, who had no clue on how the female body worked, and they did not seem to require any proper science to back up their opinions, either.